That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
