i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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