I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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