Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
