soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I want to be your penis for a week.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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