I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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