I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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