This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
