My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
