thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
