My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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