Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
