She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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