Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
