My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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