I think i peed on brittanys purse
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
