She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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