remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
