cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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