oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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