Tell her she can't have a vagina
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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