just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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