I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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