Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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