I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize