i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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