I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
third nipple confirmed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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