you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
