Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
