I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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