apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
