this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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