i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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