Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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