well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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