Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
