We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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