hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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