He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
