yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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