with your own penis?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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