My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
