What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize