I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
