Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
MIDGETS
????
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
