i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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