i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
