She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
