I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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