saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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