if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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