Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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