so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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