If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
