Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
