All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize