when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
