I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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