yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
