the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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