Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
