found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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