I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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