His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
