your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
