I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
