That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
