While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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