? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
