i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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